Month: November 2016

Lessons for Parenthood

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This Thursday will be our last holiday without a child. It’s kind of a big deal.

The sentiment among most first-time parents is this: “Our lives are going to change and they’ll never be the same!” Kendrick and I have accepted this and do not feel a sense of regret, but rather a sense of present awareness. And so, we’ve been soaking up this time together as much as we can. We even took a spontaneous trip down the coast last weekend to Big Sur. At first it seemed a bit crazy to drive 2 1/2 hours to Big Sur and back in one day; but why not? We didn’t have anything holding us back.

We actually met a couple sitting next to us at dinner who had a 10-month old daughter and had driven all the way from San Diego for the weekend. We asked if they had been traveling much and the wife said, “Oh yes! She’s been on 5 planes this year, and we’ve even taken her camping. Having a child shouldn’t prohibit you from doing the things you love.”

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Our dinner view at Nepenthe in Big Sur– so worth the 2 1/2 hours we drove to get there!

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Made it just in time for sunset

I was so grateful for her refreshing outlook on parenthood. For the most part we’ve been lucky and have received encouraging comments from parents, but occasionally you have a parent who doesn’t hesitate to share their less than ideal experiences.

I understand that parenthood isn’t all roses, and that’s okay. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Well, there is one promise I can make to my son that I know I can keep; which is this:

“I will not be perfect.”

This reflection came after reading Karl Pillemer’s book, “30 Lessons for Living“.  I recently found it on my bookshelf and realized I had never read it. Karl is a Professor at Cornell University and ran a study in which he interviewed several elderly around the country, who ranged in age from mid-sixties to 102! He compiled all the information from their interviews into a book of 30 overarching lessons that they wanted to pass on to the younger generations. The chapter that most intrigued me, especially at this phase in my life, was the one titled, “Nobody’s Perfect: Lessons for a Lifetime of Parenting“.

I have to admit, I actually read this chapter first instead of starting at the beginning of the book.  My two favorite lessons were these:

  1. It’s all about time
  2. Take a lifelong view of relationships with your children

Here’s what I wrote in my personal journal on this topic.

Dear son,

Your dad and I talk about the first lesson frequently because we feel it is the most important gift we can give you…our TIME. You will grow up so fast and we want to be there for you through it all. Our number one value is family, and so you can expect that we will make that a priority in our home. Some children have dads or moms who work too much and travel all the time and miss out on special life events. We don’t want to be those parents. We want you to remember us being present in your life and being part of the things that are important to you.

2. We realize that once we become parents, we will always be parents. Even when you leave the home, we will never stop being your mom and dad. However, our relationship will change when you’re older. You will no longer have to report to us, you will be in charge of your own life. And so we hope that the values we teach you in the home will follow you into adulthood. The decisions we make in the next 18 years will lead to either a positive or negative relationship in the future; and so I pray that God will guide us with the wisdom to be the best parents we can be for you and that we foster a healthy, positive relationship with you.

We also realize that we are not perfect; so there may be times when we make a wrong decision or say something we don’t mean. Please know that no matter what happens, we will always love you- because you are part of us. You were created by God, but you share me and your father’s DNA. There is no one else in the world like you,  and there never will be- even your siblings will be different.

If you ever doubt my love for you- I hope you will read this and find comfort. You are SO loved and as we get ready to become parents, we can’t promise perfection, although we commit to do our best to:

  1. Listen
  2. Maintain openness
  3. Have good intentions

Te amo meu filho, (I love you my son)

❤

 

To my parent readers: If you were being interviewed, what lesson(s) would you give to the younger generations on parenthood?

Please leave your comments below! 🙂 

PS- thought I’d include an updated bump picture! 37 weeks, 4 days along…we’re in the final stretch!

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7 Tips for Mindful Eating during the Holidays

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With the holidays fast approaching, (Thanksgiving is already next week!)  I’ve put together a list of tips to ease your feasting anxiety. 😉

  1. Don’t let the fear of the Thanksgiving Day feast cause you to start dieting now. Instead of restricting your favorite foods the week before Thanksgiving, practice eating mindfully so that when turkey day comes, you don’t find yourself with the excuse to suddenly binge on anything and everything you find enjoyable. Remember, it’s all about balance. Drastic highs and lows in your diet do not do any good. Learning to eat healthy consistently will be much better for you than extreme dieting, binging, and then dieting again.
  2. Offer to bring a dish (and make sure it’s a healthy one). If you’re not the one hosting Thanksgiving, ask the hostess if you can bring a dish. Having a healthy option can bring you a sense of relief if you’re unsure of what the menu will consist of. Chances are there will be someone else secretly thanking you for bringing something they don’t feel guilty eating. I brought this delicious kale salad to Thanksgiving last year, and it was such a hit..seriously! I even had a guest request the recipe and she’s told me she makes it regularly for her family. Another favorite holiday salad of mine is a spinach salad with roasted strawberries and almonds. The roasted strawberries are warm and gooey when they come out of the oven and provide just the right amount of sweetness. Check out the recipe here. spinach-salad
  3. Schedule your exercise for the day. Plan a hike, walk, or go to your favorite exercise class in the morning. (If you live in the Bay Area, visit us at Studio K-Fit for our annual Pre-Turkey Burn workout! 😉 ) Remember, high intensity exercise allows your body to continue burning calories even after the workout is over. If you can’t get out before dinner, plan to do a walk after. This will help fight that ‘sluggish’ feeling and also help you digest your meal faster than if you took a nap or sat on the couch. If you’ve been inside cooking all day you’ll feel grateful to get out of the house for some fresh air.
  4. Use a plate when nibbling. When you’re at a holiday party, or standing around the kitchen waiting for the roast turkey, be sure to pick up a plate so you’re mindful of what’s going in your mouth. The more steps you take to observe the food that’s in front of you before you eat it, the less likely you’ll overindulge in that cheese dip.
  5. HYDRATE. Instead of grabbing a beer or pouring a glass of wine when you arrive, opt for a glass of water. Drinking an alcoholic beverage while also munching on hors d’oeuvres will most likely cause you to overeat/eat more than you planned. If you opt for a glass of wine at dinner, be sure to follow it up with a glass of water. Drinking water in between courses will not only aid in digestion, but also trigger a cue to your brain letting you know you’re full.
  6. Assess your dinner plate. Does it contain a protein (turkey) and at least 1 serving of vegetables (corn doesn’t count). Instead of grabbing a biscuit, mashed potatoes, AND stuffing – choose 1 or 2 of your favorites. For me, I would choose mashed potatoes because it’s something I never make myself. Bread is easy to come by, so I usually pass up the dinner rolls at Thanksgiving. Be mindful if your veggies are loaded in cheese or a cream sauce. If you were munching on cheese and crackers before dinner, choose to eat more turkey and green beans and/or carrots during your main meal; especially if you have a sweet tooth like me and know you won’t be able to refuse a slice of pie. Remember, you control your food- not the other way around!
  7. Slow down and enjoy the experience. Savor the foods smell and texture. Engage in the dinner table conversation and thank those that helped prepare the meal. You don’t have to refuse Grandma’s pumpkin pie, but take small bites and give yourself time to digest afterwards before helping yourself to seconds.

Having a game plan before going to a party this holiday season will help you to make smarter decisions when temptation comes knocking. Instead of completely eliminating everything you love, choose which vice you would rather indulge in. For example:

“I will drink sparkling water with hors d’oeuvres instead of wine.”

“I will have a glass of wine instead of having a slice of pie for dessert.”

“I will eat the sour cream mashed potatoes at dinner instead of eating these macaroni and cheese bites as an appetizer.”

The holidays don’t have to undo all your hard work from this year. With these mindful tips, you’ll be sure to have a healthy, and happy holiday season 🙂

36 Week Update + Embarking on a New Season

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Just like the changing leaves, the weeks and days are quickly falling and bringing us closer to the day we’ve been anticipating for the past 8 months. A year ago, we spent a serendipitous weekend in NYC. Although I grew up not far from the city, I never spent much time there except during Christmas; which I now regret because I missed out on enjoying the beauty of the city when it was not 30 degrees outside. The weekend was memorable in more ways than one, and if you’d like to read an inspiring story to lift your spirits today, read this post my husband wrote about why he ran the NYC Marathon. http://www.kendrickfitness.com/inspiration/christys-262-miles-for-hope

He was accepted to run it again this year, however he gave up his spot because he had a hunch I would be pregnant, which was correct! He figured I wouldn’t be happy, (and he wouldn’t feel comfortable) traveling across the country a month before my potential due date. He’s hoping to run it next year, in which case he’ll have an extra cheerleader in the crowd! 🙂 I would love to make it an annual trip, because NYC is SO beautiful in the Fall.

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Today, we’re at the 36 week mark and when I watched my weekly progress video, they re-iterated the fact that in the past 6 months, this little one’s grown from a sesame seed to a 6 pound, 20 inch miracle.

Here’s what I’ve been up to in the past week:

  • washed the baby’s clothes and blankets/linens
  • got his car seat installed
  • started having Braxton Hicks contractions
  • made a list of what I need in my hospital bag
  • scheduled our newborn photographer (thanks Amanda for the recommendation!) http://jessiesalasphoto.com/index2.php#/home/
  • scheduled my last haircut before baby arrives!

Despite the chaos of the past week, I stop and think about what myself and millions of other women around the World are doing- growing  a baby! Every single person alive on this planet (yes, even Donald Trump) started out as a little sesame seed and grew into the human being they are today. During one of my walks this week, I found myself thinking about the man our son will become. In the book I shared in my last post, (Praying Through Your Pregnancy) the author dedicates one chapter to praying for your child’s future spouse. At first it sounded silly, “why should I be praying about that now?” But time moves quickly…even more so when you have children (so I hear). I couldn’t help envisioning what he will look like when he reaches Kendrick’s age, and what kind of woman he will fall in love with. (I even pictured his name on a wedding invitation!)

I’ve been praying everyday for his character…for him to grow up to be a man of integrity and do what is right, even if it’s not the popular choice. This past week we voted for a new President. I wrote in my journal on Election Day and reflected on how far we’ve come as a nation. I thought back to the last big election in 2008 when I was a freshman in college. It was such an amazing time in history and I am so glad I experienced it on a college campus. Whether you voted for Obama or not, the eruption that exploded after he was named President was thrilling. I remember the cheers in the dorm halls and the dancing in the streets.

On Tuesday, I thought about how in 8 short years, history could be made again with the first female President. We now know this was not meant to be, but what an incredible time to be alive. No matter what you believe, or who you voted for, I want to share a verse that Hillary quoted in her concession speech. It gave me chills when I heard it, because it was the exact same verse I picked out to pray over my son over 4 months ago!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we shall reap a harvest if we do not give up.” -Galatians 6:9

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My son,

Never stop doing good. Never stop loving others, no matter how hard it may be. And never stop fighting for what you believe in.

Love Always,

Mom ❤