2015 was one of my favorite years yet. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life-one of personal growth.

It’s been almost a year since I left my office job and joined my husband Kendrick to run our personal training business. However, it wasn’t as clear at that point what my next step would be. Kendrick was my rock and encouraged me to take the time to be in solitude- read and write and not just jump into another job. As I reflected on my previous role, I realized that it wasn’t the best use of my skill-set. I am a people person; and I wasn’t able to shine because the job did not match my abilities. I also learned that just because you are a nice person, does not mean that everyone will like you. I struggled to fit in and looked for approval in the wrong places. It hurt to know that there was nothing I could do to make someone like me- that simply being nice was not enough.

But as I’ve grown, I’ve realized that’s okay. It’s okay that not everyone likes you. I’ve also learned this past year that my time spent with people is precious. We only have a certain number of hours in the day; and if we’re spending time with people who are bringing us down, we’re only going to become frustrated and lonely.

“It is better to spend time alone, than with the wrong friends.” -Jim Rohn

There was one book that I read in 2015, that completely changed me. It was John Maxwell’s The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth: Live Them and Reach Your Potential. I picked up this book shortly after I left my job last April. At first, it was really tough to read. Not in the literacy sense, but in the emotional sense. I felt like John was sitting in my living room and speaking directly to me. I started making it a daily ritual that when I got up to eat breakfast and have my coffee, that I would read a chapter of this book. It helped give me understanding that this period in my life was happening for a reason…and I could choose to let it pass me by, or I could be intentional.

The Law of Diminishing Intent says, “The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it.”

“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” – Jim Rohn

That is exactly what I did; I changed my direction. This is what I learned..

• Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time, and energy needed to develop yourself. -Dennis Waitley
• Self-Esteem is the Single Most Significant Key to a Person’s Behavior
  • If you believe you are worthless, then you won’t add value to yourself.
• The Value we place on ourselves is usually the value others place on us
• In the end, it isn’t what we are that holds us back; it’s what we think we’re not.

• Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.
• We will never change our life until we change something we do daily.
• Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.

“God’s gift to us: potential. Our gift to God: developing it.”

• Our history is not our destiny.

If you spend your time with people who subtract from you, who belittle or undervalue you, then every step forward that you attempt to take will be difficult. But if you find wise leaders, good role models, and positive friends, you will find that they speed you on your journey.

• If we live life with the intention of making a difference in others’ lives, our life will be full, not empty.
• The greatest gift we can give to someone is our own personal development. 

That’s why I feel so compelled to be sharing this with you!

I hope you feel inspired to pick up this book, and share it with a friend. I always love a good book recommendation, so feel free to share your self-help favorites below!

xo

“Angela, you could be a great tennis player if you were more confident in yourself. The only thing that’s holding you back is you.”

I’ll never forget these words that were spoken to me back when I was in 7th grade. After retiring from gymnastics, I took up tennis and started private training with a coach. His name was Tom, and he was sought after as one of the best tennis coaches in the Valley. As soon as he spoke these words to me, I knew he was absolutely right. After leaving gymnastics, something changed in me. I had dedicated so much time to mastering the sport; and now, those skills no longer mattered. I was learning a new sport…and I often felt frustrated that I was starting from the bottom again.

 The summer before my freshman year of high school, my parents moved us to a new school district. I decided to join the tennis team, to make some friends before the first day of school. That year I tried out, I made the Varsity team! I couldn’t believe it. Going through tryouts and then getting selected, gave me confidence that maybe I would never be the next Anna Kournikova; but I was good enough to play with girls 4 years older than me, and that was something to be proud of.

Over the years, confidence has still been something that I struggle with. I think part of it may be that I’m a people pleaser; and because of that, it’s hard for me to be confident in myself when other people aren’t acknowledging my talents. It sounds a bit selfish when I think of it, but in my stubborn mind, I feed off of that approval.

In my blog post, “From PA to CA, What I’ve Learned“; I shared that one of the things I’ve learned in the past couple years, is how important it is to invest in personal growth. That could be reading a self-help book, listening to an educational podcast, taking a class, or spending time journaling/writing. Recently, I listened to a great podcast called “The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes“. He was interviewing Joe Polish, a master marketer who rose to the top and founded Piranha Marketing Inc. (Joe also has a podcast titled, “I Love Marketing“.)

It was from listening to his words, that I was inspired to write this blog post. I hope you get a chance to listen to it, and it inspires you as much as it inspired me!

3 WAYS TO DEVELOP CONFIDENCE

1. Have Faith

Faith has played a significant role in my life, and without it, I would not have the sense of purpose that I do.

Living in the Bay Area, I’ve observed a real loss of faith.  Most allow fear over faith to take over and guide their lives. People are stressed out, unhappy, anxious, selfish, and fearful…fearful that they won’t be able to keep up. Fear diminishes confidence.  But, when you have faith, you can trust that everything’s going to be okay–God has a plan for all of us…even if we can’t see it right away.

2. Fake It

Have you heard of the phrase, “Fake it til you make it”? Well, in this case, Fake it til you believe it. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is pretend. If we start “pretending” to be confident, soon enough, those positive phrases and encouragements we repeat to ourselves will start to sink in. When I was struggling in a tennis match, and had doubts that I couldn’t win, what sabotaged me was my own mind. Those negative phrases, that told me I wasn’t good enough and destroyed my self-confidence.

Beware of negative self-talk. Remember: Feelings are not facts. If you tell yourself, “I’m a horrible tennis player”, that’s not necessarily a fact. That is a feeling that you have, and the dangerous thing about feelings, is that they can lie to us.

3. Develop Rituals 

“You don’t think yourself into confidence, you ACT yourself.”

It sounds silly, but our daily habits greatly impact our attitude and performance. It’s important to develop positive habits whether it’s taking a minute to be grateful for what’s around you, getting a good night’s sleep, eating clean, exercising or meditating. Part of being confident is taking care of ourselves, fueling our body properly (this may be sleep, exercise, or nutrition) so that it can run effectively.

These actions can greatly affect your confidence throughout the day. Don’t you want to showcase your best self??

Start with these 3 practices and take it one day at a time.

Stay true to yourself, always.

xo