I’ll always remember …

⭐️ how magical it was to be pregnant with you, my firstborn son, at Christmastime. 

⭐️ how I convinced Daddy to paint your nursery in our rental apartment. To this day it’s the only room he’s ever painted.

⭐️how I went to see a WWII movie with my in laws the day before my water broke (Dec 4). I hate war movies, so I don’t know why I went; probably because I was 39 weeks pregnant and it involved sitting. I actually ended up leaving the theater because it was so upsetting. I swear the stress of it put me into labor the next day.

…There was also a mishap with your nursery glider. It never came. That also could have put me into labor.

⭐️how that night of Dec. 4, I called my mom crying. She was scheduled to fly in after my due date, but call it intuition, or pregnancy hormones, I had a hunch you were coming early. I begged her to get on the soonest flight possible. My intuition was right because 10 hours later, my water broke.

⭐️how after 2 hours of pushing, I anxiously asked my sister (who was in the room), “is it STILL the head?!” … you had a big head. 😂

⭐️how I didn’t cry like I thought I would when you came out. I knew I loved you, but I also felt like I was meeting a stranger.

⭐️how that first night, your Daddy grabbed the hospital bassinet (which was essentially a plastic bin), and placed it next to him on the pull out couch. He wanted to sleep right next to you so he could hear every coo and noise you made. It was the most precious sight to watch his first moment of being an overprotective Dad.

⭐️the moment when the nurses first came to show me how to clean myself postpartum; the bathroom door was open, and I caught your Daddy looking at me with tears in his eyes. As soon as they left, he whispered, “I’m so sorry; I’m sorry you have to go through this.. I had no idea.”  I had just given birth to you; my body was broken; but your father looked at me with more love in his eyes than on our wedding day. 

⭐️craving an In-N-Out burger REAL bad after leaving your first Dr. appointment.

⭐️a flurry of people in and out of our apartment that first week. How as a first time mom, I was so proud to show you off.

⭐️ how I sang “Silent Night” to you instead of more traditional songs like “Twinkle twinkle little star”. #Christmasbaby. To this day, Daddy still sings Silent Night to you (in Portuguese) before bed.

⭐️ how after you were born, I stood next to your crib and weeped listening to the album titled, “Sleep Sound in Jesus”, because that’s what my mom used to play for me when I was a baby. It was truly a full circle moment.

Lastly, I’ll always remember what it felt like to become your mother. Completely transformed; and simultaneously restored. Like I was coming back to who I had been all along.

Happy 5 years, Giovanni.

One thought on “GIO 5 YEARS

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